Farmer Wants A Wife, Wednesday 9pm, Five
Posted by Stewart Turner The farmer wants a wife, and rather than give internet dating a bash or stick a blonde wig and a frock on one of the friesians, he’s decided to call in the help of Louise Redknapp and her Five cohorts. Proto-Wag Louise, a woman with about as much charisma as a comatose Kate Thornton, introduced us to Derek, a Bucks carrot-cruncher who was lucky enough to get 334 rather fruity responses to his lonely hearts ad on the Five website. After whittling them down to just four, the lucky ladies were marched onto his farm like prize heifers at a cattle market. After deciding to ditch scary Russian Anna, who decided Derek was “the one” solely by a photo on a web page, and another lucky lady whose name escapes me, he picked flirty Canadian Karla and horsey Sarah to move onto the farm for a week. Yes, move onto the farm for a week . Oh, and share a bed. In fact, the whole thing played like some kind of sordid middle-aged male fantasy, albeit one where th...